Sunday, July 20, 2014

I'm taking my stand.

I have something to say, and yes, I'm reviving my unused and forgotten blog to say it. This subject is volcanic, but so am I. Anyone who knows me knows that the things I believe are close to my heart and I am very passionate about them. Being lukewarm is something I don't really do. So forgive (if you deem necessary) this heated post about a subject that I would think every woman has strong opinions about. 

To begin...
"Big girls are the only real women." 
"Skinny means unhealthy."
"Thin girls look like little boys."

I can't describe the amount of anger that rushes to me when I read these words. The real kicker is when these memes and pictures or "quotes" are shared across the internet by people who call themselves my friends.

Let me give you some background. 

I'm a thin girl, always have been. I'm also 5'10". I inherited this body-type almost completely from my grandmother, who also was thin all her life.  I have a slightly high metabolism.
People would say I'm bragging when sharing this. I'm not. People mostly say, "Lucky," but in a very pandering way. I was teased growing up. Kids made up lies about me being anorexic or bulimic when I was so young, I didn't even know what those words meant. Needless to say, I lost friends over this. I had no intention of wasting my time with girls who hurt others. It took years for me to forgive these girls, but I truly did for one simple fact; we were GIRLS. We hadn't yet learned how to express ourselves or how our words can affect our peers.

That's why this new fad of thin-bashing gets to me so bad. WE SHOULD BE OVER THIS. I thought people had learned enough during puberty, during those crazy teenage and early adult years that pointing fingers and making fun of others only makes you look worse. I mean, how dare you make fun of anyone for how they look? I cannot claim to have been perfect in this area of course. While growing and learning we all fall prey to trying to make ourselves feel better by making someone else feel worse. But I do also have to say that I have done my utmost to never do that again. I will never forget how sad it made me as a ten year old girl to realize why I was being made fun of. I relive that pain every time I see or read one of those statement on the internet, especially when posted by my friends.

I understand. These things were probably posted out of a show of trying to show a front of confidence or strength. Trying to show that we've left the old ways of thinking of ONLY skinny is beautiful and womanly. I wish it were true. If we had truly gained confidence in ourselves as women, "skinny" and "thin" would not be used in a negative sense. The saying "Only real women have curves" would be as outdated as corsets. Real women do not tear others down. Real women build each other up. Real women have confidence enough to work on their characters and keep their dignity, not throw it away the first chance they get just to look better than someone else. 

Same thing goes for men. Men have as much heart and soul as we. They should not be looked on as too skinny, not fit enough, not tall enough, therefore, unmanly. The only thing in my book that judges the "manly" scale is how he treats his peers. (I wish I could write as impassioned as I do about the Women thing, but I don't have much experience in being a man so...sorry.) 

I love you my friends. I know I'm not perfect, but let me tell you something. 
I'm healthy. I'm strong. My heart is in wonderful condition. I am blessed beyond measure in these aspects and I thank God regularly for it. Yes, I weigh 113 lbs. But the next person who stoops low enough to exclaim, "You're too skinny," "I could break you in half," or "You should eat something." --Shame on you, and I will forever be that advocate that every BODY has beauty. The frame and shape is merely that, a shell. What is held inside is as deep and ponderous as the universe, and just as beautiful. Please stop hurting others for not being the same as you. Find the validation in yourself, for yourself, to be yourself. No one else needs your approval to look the way they do, and you don't need theirs. 

**End note- To avoid confusion, I do believe in healthy self improvement. Whatever makes you healthy and happy - do. I'll back you up. :)



1 comment:

  1. Amen. You are not alone in this Jazzy and it hurts worse when the accusations come from family but keep believing in yourself and treating yourself right and that is all that matters. I love you for YOU!...p.s. I'm so glad to see you blogging again :) will you keep posting stuff

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